Stranger than fiction...

Over the past month or so we have seen so many amazing things that we can't describe them all. But today, we saw something that has us dumbfounded. Who on earth has a body that fits this toilet seat?

BTW: it's neither of us!

Letter to Steve

Dear Steve,

I love you but when I get home you will have to lift your game. I have become accustomed to a few things in my time away. Make sure that when you go to bed you turn the covers down for me and put a chocolate on the pillow. You will need to drive me everywhere, and when I arrive home I expect a cool towel to be handed to me as I enter the house. When I leave each day, you need to wear a funny costume and take a photo with me. I need a bar fridge near the bed with a full ice bucket at all times ready for drinks. You need to constantly smile and ask me if there is anything I need. Of course, I expect gourmet meals or at the very least a buffet with a hibachi grill, soup station and dessert bar. Last but not least, as we head out of the driveway, you need to sing the theme to the Love Boat. If you can do all of this I promise to give you the same gratuity I paid the Princess Line for their service every day ($11.50 US). 

Still want me to come home next week?

Love

Den xx

PS. Costume advice below

Can you believe they sell this stuff?

Buying a truckload to bring home!

In love with Lucca

Lou asked me why Lucca was better than Sienna or San Gimingnano and my first answer was because it was flat. And at this point in my life, and at this point in our trip, that is a great reason to like a place. But I am selling Lucca short because it was quite magical. Encircled by huge walls, Lucca has beautiful churches, narrow, winding streets where around almost every corner there's a small square where you can sit in a cafe and watch the world go by. The shops are sensational and sell everything from high end fashion to locally produced silk scarves, leather bags to specialty gelati. The walls are 9 m thick and over the years have been planted with linden trees so they have become a park that locals cycle, jog or walk their dogs around. There was a baroque garden in one of the villas that was so beautiful I could have sat it in all morning. 

I never intended to go to Lucca but I am so lucky I did. 

Shore Excursions: the Final Frontier of Cruising

Shore excursions from the ship are great. Sometimes expensive, but always convenient, they are designed specifically to make sure you get a taste of what each port or location can offer. 

For each excursion you meet in a specific location where you are given a coloured sticker to identify you as part of the group. ( this also lets pickpockets and thieves in each place know that you are a tourist from a cruise ship as you walk around). Each group is sent off the ship  one at a time, which is when the race for the front seat of the bus starts. I have seen old people with walking sticks use them as shields as they run to get there first. To do this you have to also take out the two theme characters at the end of the gangplank in every port (pizza chefs in Naples, gladiators in Rome, goddesses in Athens etc) that you are expected to have your photo taken with as you leave the ship and then buy later. Lou is more into that than me. I just duck around the back of them and get going.

There is a hierarchy to the seats on the bus. Front seats are for the fastest (but are supposed to be for the people with mobility issues who have ignored the advice that the excursion is strenuous and have come along with their walking frames anyway). Next best are the seats near the side door, especially if they have a table. I can't work out why; there's no cabin service, but that's just how it is. Third are the seats with the biggest glass so you can take photos from the bus. These are the ones we try for. The back seat is what you get if you are not on the ball when the race begins. 

Once you arrive at you destination, you are asked to don lanyards with radios and ear phones so the guide can talk to you. There is always someone who can't get theirs to work, until another in the group shows them how to turn the volume up. Then, like sheep, you follow an object: a flower, a lollipop, or a bright umbrella, as a group. Most people group as close to the guide as they can, taking up all of the road or footpath, never looking around to see if someone else want to pass. The other day an old Italian gentleman on a bicycle approached at speed ringing his bell and I can't really be sure what he said but the word bastardos was used so I am pretty sure he was frustrated as he pushed through the group. (Is it mean that I thought it was funny to see the man with the walking stick jump out of the way?)

A few times we have stopped to take photos and been left behind. This is not a bad thing a long as you can remember where the meeting point to go home is. It is customary to tip the guide and the driver at the end of the tour (they share what is given). Some days those  drivers, who have parallel parked a tour bus in a parking bay the size of a ten cent piece, deserve all the tips they can get. Today, I tipped the guide for Lucca 5€ but only because she stopped singing Nessun  Dorma after the second chorus outside Puccini's old music school. She would have got 10€ if she had not sung at all.

I am sad that we are nearly at the end if our shore excursions. Not that I'll miss them, but because I finally had a great strategy to get to the bus first!

Bucket Lists

Today we went to Rome to make Lou's pilgrimage to the Spanish Steps and the Trevi Fountain. They are the final things on her bucket list. Of course the Spanish Steps were crowded and the Trevi Fountain was being renovated but she has done what she set out to do. So this is what was on the list:

1) go to London the visit the Queen

2) see snow 

3) climb the Eiffel Tower

4) climb the Spanish Steps

5) throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain

6) run over the hills singing songs from the Sound of Music.

7) go to Anne Frank House

So in the words of Phil from Amazing Race, after thirty four days and in twelve countries, congratulations on completing your Bucket List! 

But wait! There's more! Now there's a NEW Travel Bucket List!

1) visit the Bay of Isles in NZ

2) go back to Croatia with Tonch, Jay and Abbey

3) cruise through the Greek Islands

4) sit on a beach in Mauritius drinking cocktails

5) hit the New Year sales in London

And my bucket list?

1) cruise the Baltics and Russia

2) see a volcano in action 

3) Malta, Tunisia Sardinia Morrocco.

4) watch the Northern Lights

5) listen to jazz in a Cuban bar

6) take Maddie to Disneyland

7) take a dip in the hit pools in Iceland

We need to start saving!

When life gives you lemons, make Limoncello!

Today we careened around the Amalfi Coast Road, hanging on for grim death as the mini bus twisted and turned around hairpin bends. Luckily the scenery was so breathtaking that we forgot the danger we were in and spent our time trying to take that one good photo that would help us remember how beautiful it was. Positano is pressed into the side of a hill with winding alleys full of expensive shops. It's a place full of possibilities, but we only had one hour there so I walked down for 30 mins and then turned around and started  the climb back up to the bus! I want to go back, arrive by boat, enjoy looking at he village from the bottom of the hill where I can truly take it all without fearing I'll die of exhaustion trying to get home.

The lemons from Positano are thick skinned and need weeks to turn into the beautiful Limoncello we saw everywhere. The lemons from Sorrento, however, are thinner skinned and much more juicy. Mum and Dad, watch out. I'm coming home to have a go at making Limincello myself. Lemons were everywhere. Lemon gelato (deluxe!), lemon pasta, lemon lollies, lemon soap, lemons on dishes and tea towels, lemon cakes (a specialty of the region). I will forever remember the citrus candles burning as we meandered our way down the hill inviting you to buy.